Diabetes is kicking my ass

Really

I know I have type 2 so the onus is on me to eat healthier and exercise more. I also have central sleep apnea which doesn’t always respond to my CPAP machine and often leaves me exhausted all day. Who feels like exercising when you have had no sleep? I also have Polycystic Ovaries which wreaks havoc on my hormones and leads to weight gain.  Which then makes the Diabetes worse.

I also have depression – at times crippling depression and anxiety that make it hard for me to get out of bed in the morning let alone exercise on purpose. I use food as my emotional crutch.  Feel sad. Eat. Feel scared. Eat. Feel frustrated. Eat. And so on.

I have read all the scary stuff that Diabetes can bring to the table. Loss of sight, loss of
limbs, death. It is terrifying, and yet when presented with a butter tart I scarf it down. When it comes to sugar I have no self control.  But I am trying. I made a gradual switch from Cola to Diet Cola (don’t lecture about the harm sweeteners do, I can only take one step at a time) and now I am focusing on drinking less cola each day. I am eating more Greek yogourt and other healthy options.

But I still eat carbohydrates way too much.

I’m a food addict and it needs to stop.